3 Wisdom Truths to Reduce Anxiety
- Angel Zappanti
- Dec 22, 2024
- 5 min read
Updated: Jan 27
~ A simple guide to manage stressful situations and reduce anxiety
Ever faced an extremely stressful situation? Need to make a big decision in your life? Do I change jobs? Go back to school? Move across the country? Start dating again? Have a baby? Get divorced? Start going to the gym? Explore a new career? Start my own business? Whew, there are so many challenging life decisions to be made! Any one of these questions can seem overwhelming and daunting. Where to begin? How will I know when to act? How do I make it happen? Is this the right choice for me? There are too many crazy making, monkey mind thoughts racing around my skull and causing me anxiety. Forget it, I’m going to crawl in bed, cover my head and try not to have a panic attack. Sound all too familiar?
Let’s discover 3 Wisdom Truths to live by that help you reduce anxiety and face these decisions with calm and confidence.
1: Before the Time is Never the Time
What the hell kind of fortune cookie, Mr. Miyagi bullshit is this and what does it even mean? Hang in there and it will make a lot more sense as we go along. Let’s explore how these three Wisdom Truths apply to the question, should I start dating again? You have just gone through a nasty, heart wrenching break up. Are you mentally or emotionally ready to put yourself back out there? After all of ten seconds of reflection you decide the answer is hell no. You might say to yourself, “I’m just not ready yet” or “I would rather chew glass for fun” or “My heart hurts too much to risk it”. After you’ve done your emotional recon you’ve decided that now is not the time to engage in any dating insanity.
What happens if you disregard your own conclusion from your emotional recon? What if you are two weeks out from that nasty break up and you try to jump back into dating? Ever convince yourself this was a good idea? Ever watched a friend sprint toward this emotional minefield after some fantastic mental gymnastics to convince themselves that rebound dating is good for the soul or ego? So, how’d it turn out? Was it a grade A shit show? Yea, that’s how it usually goes. Trying to force something before the time, before right timing generally doesn’t turn out too well. The journey does offer some great learning opportunities but hell’s bells, couldn’t we have taken an easier route?
Back to the question, should I start dating again. The answer is not yet, now is before the time when you are mentally and emotionally ready to put yourself back out there on the dating scene. Slow your monkey mind, relax, stop fretting about whether or not this is the time to start dating. So, how do I know when the right time is, you might be wondering?
2: If it isn’t YES, it’s NO
This one seems a bit too simple to really have much effect on decision making and alleviating stress, but alas, it’s worth its weight in gold. Back to our, “Should I start dating again" after a hard break up scenario. Previously, you have figured out that you just weren't ready to date again. Back then was Before The Time. Now you are in the healing phase, this could be two months or two years. Along the way, you may see someone who catches your eye and wonder, should I pursue it?
This is when the internal tapes start playing all over again and can cause anxiety. Stop, halt the internal thoughts on crack and take some deep breaths. Now, ask yourself one question at a time, such as; “Am I ready to date?” If the answer isn’t a resounding Yes, then it’s a solid No. “Do I have the time to entertain dating right now?” If it isn’t Yes, it’s No. “Am I capable of being a healthy, present partner?” We know the drill, if it isn’t Yes, it’s No. Full stop. The end. No more ruminating, spinning out or endlessly questioning yourself that can lead to anxiety. Take comfort in the fact that you have your answer and just let yourself be where you are in your healing process.
3: When it’s Yes, it’s Go.
It’s been 8 months since the break up. Occasionally you have done step 2, If it isn’t Yes, it’s No. You’ve taken comfort in the fact that No has been your magic eight ball answer and you have decisively moved forward in your life knowing where you are on your broken heart healing journey. You have wondered on occasion, “How will I get back on the dating horse?” “Gosh, am I rusty? Do I even know how to flirt” You might be getting anxious about getting back out there and how it will manifest. Here’s the good news and you can take it to the bank! When it’s Yes, it’s Go. You see that someone across the room, your heart skips and speeds up. You check in with yourself, asking “Am I ready to date?” A resounding Hell YES comes back and it’s game on. No more monkey mind, no more wondering, questioning yourself, questioning the universe and timing. It is the right time and all systems are a Go.
4: How I used these 3 Wisdom Truths to Reduce Anxiety
These three Wisdom Truths helped me keep my sanity as I was going through a divorce. I had to slow my roll, breath a lot and realize that before the time is never the time to pull the trigger and tackle the hundreds of decisions ahead of me. I checked in with myself dozens of times to get clear, if it isn't’ yes, it’s no. Is it time to get a lawyer? Is it time to serve divorce papers? Is it time to tell the kids? Is it time to look for a new place to live? Am I strong enough to take each next step? When the answers came back Yes, all the guessing, anxiety, fear disappeared because there was no stopping my progress. It was finally the time, the answer was yes and it was Go time.
My hope for you is that you can take these reliable Wisdom Truths into your life, trust the process and allow yourself to go through the experience life has thrown at you with calm confidence and reduced anxiety. Trust yourself, you’ve got this!
With a radiance of love,
Angel Marie
If you need assistance on your spiritual journey, need help coping with anxiety or any other crazy life circumstance, you can book a 90 minute session by clicking the Book Now button below. We would be honored to walk this sacred journey with you.
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